Friday, November 13, 2009

The Three Invaders, Page 12

This is the text for page 12.

Panel 1
やりますか?
Do we do it?

いまはだめだ
Not now.

Panel 2
あとで三人で殺すう
We need the three of us to kill him.

Panel 4
どうしたっ?
What is it?

は。。。 話があるんで
We... gotta talk.

Panel 5
なんだ
Well?

Normally, "nanda" would be "what" or "what is it?"  And in the previous panel, "doshita" would be "what's wrong" or "what is it?"  Because I used "what is it" in the one panel, I don't want to use it right away again in the next one.  And usually, "well?' is used following "we gotta talk", so that's what I went with.

あのばあさんわれわれの正体を知っているみたいなんです
That old woman looks like she knows what we really are.

The aliens have switched to normal polite speech now that they're by themselves. If they'd stayed in character, I would have used "the old woman's on to us", which would have been a lot more effective.

Panel 6
脱獄囚じゃないだろうっていいました
She said "you're not escaped prisoners, right?"

だが まさか 宇宙から来たとはしるまい
But, no, she can't know that we came from outer space.

Panel 7
おまえたちのばけかたがへただからだっ
It's because your disguises are so bad.

でも われわれの星にだって 脱獄囚ってものはあります。 だからわりとらくだろうと思ったので。。。 しかしどうも地球の脱獄囚はかってがちがうようです
But, our planet has escapees, so we thought it'd be fairly easy to copy them.  But, Earth's runaway prisoners seem to be different somehow.

"dakara wari-to raku darou to omotta no de" = "therefore . relatively . with ease . is (masculine) . thought . nominalizer . exists".  Or, "Therefore, relatively easily, we thought".  The "to fit in", "to copy them", "to play this part" is implied.  In English, we have to spell it out more.  I decided to use "We thought it'd be easy to copy them".

Looking back at the last couple of panels on this page, I've used "but" three times.  I've commented on how I don't want to repeat a phrase because it is boring.  In this case, though.  I'm figuring that aliens aren't fluent English speakers and may be prone to making these kinds of dialog errors.

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